Guard Gazer Gifts

'Now that's an afro!'

"Not yet, wait until he faints."

Rocket Launch Control Centre Back in 10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

God Sneezes Out Creation

"I brought back important data on that blue planet called Earth."

An alien in his space ship sees a space sign that says 'You are here'

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

Horror Stories.

Emergency exit into Space

'Look on the bright side; you got out of that stock before it became...unstable.'

Hey, how was space? Fine. Jeez. The adolescent astronaut.

'We need a product line that will stimulate our profit line.'

'Warning: Use of oversized apertures or antennas will void warranty,'

BLACK HOLES, the space path of least resistance.

The Milky Way (Detail)

"We've come all this way to destroy their planet only to find they're doing it themselves!!!"

"Did you have a cat?"

"Hurray! I discovered a new planet!"

"So what do you do for a living?"

Standings: Milky Way Conference

You thought YOU hated YOUR job?

"That was a rumor day."

'Forget it, this planet only has one star.'

'Why worry about intrusive electronic surveillance. If you've done nothing wrong, you should have nothing to hide!'

C'mon, help me out! Which rock do you think my kids would like better?

"I want to be an astronaut, president of the United States and ruler of the universe! Chica power!"

'Can you believe it? - This hayseed doesn't even know which GALAXY we're in!'

The Gallery Guard Unravelling the Wool of a Jumper on a Painting, Creating a Nude.

I hate it when the moon shows his dark side...

'That is some serious alternative energy.'

Modigliani's Giraffe

'The king wants a gesture, not a jester.'

Never forget the magic asterisk...