Guard Duty Fan Gifts

'I'm a guard dog too.'

"If we only used bigger clubs we would defeat our enemies every time, and we would dominate them forever!"

"All rise."

'MEN! We've got a fire at the cattle shed! Do we want rare, medium or well done?'

'A-1 security from crime ... but can't stand the isolation.'

'Are we ready to order?'

"I didn't know we were supposed to flush them!"

Veteran mistakes ironclad ship for Noah's Ark

'Stand back!...She's cleared out three local stores in the last year.'

It's 'safety first' for Gary the goat.

Broken down ambulance means horse and man have to carry stretcher

Really big bang

"Lollipop man, dear.. what lollipop man?"

"He's not here to keep someone from breaking in. He's here to keep students from breaking out!"

Coming to a crossroads in his life, Pinnochio faced a difficult decision.

'I'm on century duty.'

'The fire brigade are on the way. But in the meantime, I'm totally posting this online.'

"I knew you'd come!"

'Whoa neat, how do you do that?!'

"Sorry ma'am. My computer says this is the wrong building."

Global warming and forest fires

'The police arrived instantly when I had a heart attack, and firefighters saved my sister's life. But I don't want the government involved in my health care!'

"Going to the beach with Master is not all that much fun: My job is to guard his stuff while he goes for a swim..."

"Easy does it, Ralph."

"Can I see some I.D. - not that security doesn't already have you pegged."

Saving the leaf.

'Now that's what I call a guard dog.'

Betty liked to use safety glasses

Make my day.

'Oh, it just a little something to go hunting in.'

"I'm looking for a sense of security and piece of mind in a short-recoil-operated, single-action semiautomatic."

"As long as I like to chase cars I might as well get paid for it!"

'Hmmm, identifiable markings: striped shirt, whistle. Ah, he must be refereeus footballicus.'

Military Coo

"They were a wedding gift."