Grumpy Wisdom Gifts

I brought your coffee and a list of new things about the world you're going to have to learn to accept

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

"There has been a sharp increase in his cantankerousness."

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

Mood swings: Swing 1 - 'Looks like it's going to be another wonderful day!' Swing 2 - 'Who CARES link brain! I hope it rains acid!!' Swing 3 - 'I think i'm going to CRRRY!'

"I do wish Henry could run into someone from the dress business to talk to."

'Why am I such a grouch?'

Grumpy old merry men.

Old Man Journal

'I try to avoid the trap of letting my idleness define me.'

Meeting at the Grumpy Old Men's Pub.

Grumpy Old Men

'Cheer up...'

Middle age means a constant struggle not to be irritated by everyone and everything.

"If you're going out, pick up some candles."

"To be perfectly honest, Tarquin, I get fed up listening to your stories about 'the good old days'."

'To be honest, you're the only one who sometimes bothers to hear my complaints.'

'Kids get right up my nose!'

'Self-help books for cynics'

At the Irritable Bowel Syndrome Convention.

I HATE STUFF

'FQ...?'

"Well, we’ve covered the weather, my prostate, your incontinence … I suppose our idiot children are up next?"

Uncle Murray Weekly

"Being in the now today sure ain't like the good ol' now!"

"Oh, my arthurs a breeder too, contempt mainly!"

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're just getting grumpier.'

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're getting grumpier.'

Pissed-off hour.

'Dinner.'

Moan Pig.