Grumpy Sage Gifts

'He lives in a house, and it's by the side of the road, but he's still not a friend to man.'

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

That party went well.

What's In Her Bag? Coachella Edition!

In life there are things we cannot understand � the words 'get down,' invisible fences, cats...

"I do wish Henry could run into someone from the dress business to talk to."

Mood swings: Swing 1 - 'Looks like it's going to be another wonderful day!' Swing 2 - 'Who CARES link brain! I hope it rains acid!!' Swing 3 - 'I think i'm going to CRRRY!'

Lazy man contemplates the moment of creation.

"Oh my God with the singing!"

Meeting at the Grumpy Old Men's Pub.

'I try to avoid the trap of letting my idleness define me.'

Grumpy Old Men

Moanathon.

'To be honest, you're the only one who sometimes bothers to hear my complaints.'

"If you're going out, pick up some candles."

"To be perfectly honest, Tarquin, I get fed up listening to your stories about 'the good old days'."

'Kids get right up my nose!'

'FQ...?'

'I'd sooner be dead than be buried here...'

'Quick, the coffee!'

'Wisdom is the comb that life gives you after you lose your hair!'

"Being in the now today sure ain't like the good ol' now!"

"It's not real meditation when you SMIRK like that!"

"It's not just his rapier wit that intimidates."

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're getting grumpier.'

Pissed-off hour.

Moan Pig.

'The problem with politics is politicians!'

"I'm way past mid-life crisis and knee-deep in old age rage!"

'I'll kill that dog of yours.'

'Well, Mr. Grumpy, who got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?'

'I see your Alan's got his Christmas face on again.'