Grumpy Birdwatcher Gifts

"It's chirp, chirp, chirp time again, isn't it?"

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

"The fish sticks here are very good."

Intelligent people laugh too!

"Wait—did you procure that worm humanely?"

"Sure my wings flap 70 times per second-- I've been sipping nectar all day."

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

'Some of these trees have been here for 2000 years... and they still can't talk. Man, we're awesome!'

'Humans are so considerate: They put perches like these for us on every one of their houses...'

Bird Torture.

"Um, Larry? That’s not a quail."

"Two vegans, please."

'It's a blonde, long-legged species with a melodious voice and it goes south for the winter.'

"Migration ruins my 10,000 steps."

'Well, thanks, but we have no need of a Divorce Lawyer: We're Lovebirds you see...'

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

'You head south without me. I'll be fine.'

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

Birds Following Witch.

Trick or Tweet

'Hey, want to go to the beach ...I mean ...the birdbath?'

'There's too many of us... I'm going to start forming a 'W'.'

'They're still following me?! Oh geez, what if they're in some sort of gang or something?'

A bird that is also the helmet from a suit of armour (or is it a bird inside a helmet?). Notice the very small flying bird/helmet in the background.

"He wasn't even early - he was on his way home from a party!"

"Do we go out or do we stay home and open a can of worms?"

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."