Group Dynamics Analyst Gifts

Herd Mentality.

'Individually lemmings are fine, but get a bunch of 'em together and they'll head straight for the nearest cliff.'

"The new guy isn't working out."

"I believe we've found the weakest link."

Suzie would later win a Nobel Prize for her Law of Special Social Relativity.

"The unlucky lemming"

'Inevitably, I come to work early, leave late and alienate everyone.'

It come's to my attention that you have been doing the work of two men.

"Next on the agenda: How can we crush workers' spirit, while appearing to care?"

"It's time for your performance review where I damn you with faint praise."

'Hank here brings 10 years of top sales experience to our company so let's all try to make him feel welcome while he makes you all look bad...'

"It's late. I am not getting into another heated discussion with you."

'We're like one big family tree... that's why everyone is in therapy.'

'To foster a sense of trust, I always like to end each session with a group hug.'

"I want to know why when I'm in a room people ignore me."

'Dayton, you're a decent, respectable, ethical, honest and nice guy. What the hell are you up to?'

Corporate Scapegoat of the Month (Poster hanging on company hallway)

'I'll take that as a screwed up ball of paper bouncing off my head then?'

(Phil Hanson and the Philettes)

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

Committee On Feline Healthcare

Coming to a consensus.

Above Reproach.

Poplar Trees/Not very Poplar Trees.

Abstraction and recognition

Cohesion Of Cohort/Shared Behaviors

"Let's welcome our new member, Bob!" "You, too!" "'You, too'? Idiot!"

'One businessman's lunch and one lackey's lunch.'

'Women, can't live with 'em, can't live without em.'

"I've always said: For that satisfying sense of inclusion, you can't beat a class action suit."

'This is quite a scathing memo, Jane. Would you mind elaborating on the 'pervasive herd mentality' you claim our firm is riddled with?'

"I think I speak for all of us."

The end is near! There's one crazy lemming in every crowd, isn't there?

'It's nothing personal, Johnson, we're letting all the deadwood go.'

"You never told me what you thought of 'Wolverine.'" "I was waiting." "For what?" "For the consensus." "My own immediate reaction to any piece of entertainment could be biased. I need to read tweets and posts before I settle on a verdict." "If my view differs too much from the hive mind, it's not valid."