Groundhog's Day Gifts

The groundhog, unable to see his shadow, goes in for a cataract operation.

"Look, Phil, I can see your shadow!"

Playing Fetch.

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

Support group for sheep.

Canine Scentipede

"An early spring was just a prediction- I can't actually control the weather!"

Collies Without Borders

Woman in hospital has i.v. attached to plant.

"Who's a good boy? You're a good boy."

To be honest, I'd just as soon as lay in the yard, but he so looks forward to it.

"Let's break the record for non-stop deranged barking."

"What a coincidence, that's my name, too!"

Menu: Wet food. Dry food

Dogs all across town saw fit to teach their owners a little empathy...

'We had him trained to stay off the furniture, right up until we gave up.'

"Al emerged from his man cave and saw crabgrass. That means 6 months of obsessing about crabgrass."

'Gee, where are all the crowds this year?'

"I'm getting too old for this..."

A cart pulled by increasingly small dogs

Standard Poodle/Substandard Poodle

"We're waiting to see if he'll see his shadow."

"So, are you predicting an early spring?"

"Thanks for your concern, and yes, I'm a rescue dog, but that's my actual job title: I rescue people..."

Groundhog. Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way, Ernie. We can't expect an early spring if your umbrella is the only reason he's not seeing his shadow.

The Month of July

"Well, you gonna spin?" "Ah, maybe after another Breaking Bad."

"And for only $19.99 I can give you my super bowl pick."

"Punxsutawney Phil can also predict the political climate."

"Let's take it easy for the first two miles."

Contradictory Phil

'No, Mrs. Dudley! If there's a bone in a chair, that means it's reserved for Marmaduke!'

"I predict six more weeks of winter...But I'm sure we'll tough it out."