Gross-out Humor Fans Gifts

"Eye of newt, spit of dragon ... eww - there's a hair in the brew."

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"What are you looking at, four eyes?"

Theatre Masks and Butts

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

'We found you in a cabbage!'

Tequila Mockingbird

"Maybe I'm aiming too high...maybe 'saving for a cool car' is too hard."

'NO, it DOESN'T come on DISC!'

"Big n' tall" "Small n' long"

"Pumpkin spice has been very good to me."

'Guess who's teething?'

Before they settled on water, shower pioneers experimented with a number of alternatives, including spaghetti,

"Relax, he could just be looking for fun."

'Henry, cut that out.'

'You've made a breakthrough in FINANCIAL research?', 'Yep! - I split the ATM!'

'If only you could do this with a cow once in a week, we'd save a lot of money for the food delivery service, Rupert!'

'Food fight!'

"What?!"

Beer Lunch

Under New Mismanagement

"The robber was about 5' 11"...."

"Oh you kids and that cursed painting in the closet keep me young."

Sure, snoring is a big issue at our house too: you've seen the size of my dad's nose...

'Hi! I'm a freshman -- when do I get corrupted?'

"When you said we were going to push the boat out tonight, I thought you meant we were going to a fancy restaurant!"

Sawrd Fighting

Top Ten Elevator Hits of All Time

The afternoons are okay, it's at night that I can't sleep.

"It's not you, I just prefer big dogs."

Psycho-plankton.

Pastoral Choirs

My Youtube channel's taking off. Mine too, little buddy. You have a Youtube channel? Of course, it's got 12.8 million subscribers. I accompanies my best-selling MANuals book series. I post a video per day. There's "Pickup Artist Mondays," "Man-Grooming Tuesdays," "Relationship Escape-Artist Wednesdays" ... "Become an Alpha in Five Minutes Thursdays" ... "New Advances in Speedos Fridays," and "Using Quantum Physics and the Multiverse Theory to Explain Why that Lady She Caught You with was Actuall

"I hate when this happens."