Gross Joke Fans Gifts

"It's OK... I'm Anemic."

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

Theatre Masks and Butts

"Big n' tall" "Small n' long"

Before they settled on water, shower pioneers experimented with a number of alternatives, including spaghetti,

"What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!"

'If only you could do this with a cow once in a week, we'd save a lot of money for the food delivery service, Rupert!'

'Food fight!'

"The robber was about 5' 11"...."

The afternoons are okay, it's at night that I can't sleep.

"Eye of newt, spit of dragon ... eww - there's a hair in the brew."

"This coffee seems a little staler every morning, Edwina!"

Cow wash: 'You missed a spot.'

"The genetically modified corn wants us to knock it off with the crop circles."

"This is a winter you'll be able to tell your grandchildren about …. The winter the fed decided to tinker with interest rates."

'I'm afraid you're a little late for the book signing, Mr. Dickens.'

"Out bending spoons at Pop's diner."

Coping with Normalcy

Apple Tree Dispenser

'Cream?'

"Talk about playing hard to get! She won't let me bite her on the neck until after we're married."

How Jimi Hendrix picked his nose.

He's practising for his slot standing on the plinth not saying anything next October

Quasimodo's Belfie

'How was I to know the doctor's license was only a baseball card?'

"Frankly, I don't know why more people don't think they're, Wellington. After all, he won."

'Got any road movies?'

A chicken blows a bubble

My goldfish has an odd look on his face, Al

Hair club for men.

Comic Character Job Fair. I turned down an offer to appear in an editorial cartoon. I didn't want to be drawn into an argument.

"Billy Bear will be helping me with this.. "

"I'm thinking the little fella's from Maine."

'This is just a routine check, sir -- are you a turtle?'

Brain Fart