Gross Joke Fans Pillows

"It's OK... I'm Anemic."

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

Theatre Masks and Butts

"Big n' tall" "Small n' long"

Before they settled on water, shower pioneers experimented with a number of alternatives, including spaghetti,

"What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!"

'If only you could do this with a cow once in a week, we'd save a lot of money for the food delivery service, Rupert!'

'Food fight!'

"The robber was about 5' 11"...."

The afternoons are okay, it's at night that I can't sleep.

"This coffee seems a little staler every morning, Edwina!"

"The genetically modified corn wants us to knock it off with the crop circles."

Apple Tree Dispenser

Coping with Normalcy

"Out bending spoons at Pop's diner."

'I'm afraid you're a little late for the book signing, Mr. Dickens.'

"This is a winter you'll be able to tell your grandchildren about …. The winter the fed decided to tinker with interest rates."

'Cream?'

He's practising for his slot standing on the plinth not saying anything next October

"Talk about playing hard to get! She won't let me bite her on the neck until after we're married."

'Got any road movies?'

"Frankly, I don't know why more people don't think they're, Wellington. After all, he won."

A chicken blows a bubble

Quasimodo's Belfie

"Billy Bear will be helping me with this.. "

Brain Fart

'This is just a routine check, sir -- are you a turtle?'

"I'm thinking the little fella's from Maine."

Hair club for men.

'I'm still pretty unwell, I'm not sure if I'll be in the office tomorrow.'