Groceries Gifts

Supermarket customer types.

Express lane - zero items.

'I'm Les.'

'Did you remember the kola nuts. Lenny?'

Fruit Mart: Closing down, going into liquidiser.

Woman trying to push a trolley with a square wheel.

Express Lane

Complex Carbs

"Mummy! Can't we go to Tescos like everyone else?"

Sorry sir. It seems you have more than ten potatoes in there.

10 items or less

Food popping out of a computer.

'Sorry, the bagboy is home sick.'

'I keep thinking that I've forgotten something.'

'Would you like Paper of Plastic?'

'Excuse me sir, but that's my wife...this is your bag of potatoes.'

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

'A loaf of bread, a quart of milk, cheese. A loaf of bread, a quart of milk, cheese... a loaf of bread...'

'In this aisle I'm a real fortune teller - I 'NO' all.'

'Well what the - ugh! This is the last time I bring the dog shopping...'

"Okay, lets see what we have here."

"It's the only way I can get him to come shopping with me."

"It's a plutocrot - a cross between a plutocrat and an apricot."

"Oops."

"The chicken came first. Check the expiration date."

"Here's your food delivery, you bone-idle bastard."

'As many items as I want or no customer!'

Aisle 3 Loaves and fishes

'Face it, 24 hour grocery stores were made for people like us.'

"... But the sign said that your 'range eggs' were free."

Fresh Food and Regurgitated

"Did you check your eggs?"

"I think we must have accidentally set the freezers in Fahrenheit instead of Celsius."

"We are here for groceries! That means no snack food. No chips...no candy...no ice cream! And that means you too, mister!"

"The customers seem to like the boss's idea!"