Grocery Shopping Gifts

'Retirement Training Program'"Very good, Larry! Just one more step and you'll have the entire aisle blocked!"

'We're trying to discourage carrier bag use.'

'It's amazing how little a thousand dollars will buy these days.'

"Looks like they've simplified the nutritional information."

Foods that are bad for you. Foods that are really bad for you.

'I'm on the inflation diet. Every week I spend the same amount of money and come home with less food!'

"I read all package labels for my health. Now my eyes are shot!"

Supermarket Self Service Checkout

It all began with free-range chicken. Then it was organic vegetables. Next the farmers decided they should all take a year off to go find themselves.

Which is the genetically modified corn?"

"....Need some of this nice mixed salad, to stick in the fridge & chuck out next week."

''Not a significant source of anything even remotely nutritious'...wow, Mom, can we get these?'

Alphabet Soup - Now in LARGE PRINT.

"Arrghh! - I came around the corner and tripped over that sign!"

"If food prices keep going up, we may have to get rid of one of the children!"

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

Fat Free Food, Salt Free Food, Cholesterol Free Food and Food Free Food.

Good foods - Bad foods.

'It's your wife, she wants you to pick up some milk on your way home.'

"Wild-caught, farm-raised, lab-grown, beach-found, or aquarium-harvested."

'Unexpected item in bagging area.'

'If you have a question about our vast array of merchandise, just ask me, and I'll gladly refer you to someone who might know someone who knows something!'

'New! A bonus island of flavor!'

If you don't see what you want... ...tough! (grocery store)

GM Foods.

'Best eaten before June and everyone's gone to bed.'

'Do you have a royalty card?'

Supermarket aisles in relation to health.

"Pay no attention, Maureen's showing off her personal financial advisor,"

e-procurement

'Spare any cash? It takes green to go green!'

Man knocking over brain food

"This banana I bought yesterday, when I peeled it it was empty!"

"How was panic shopping."

'Don't be mad, I'm just following your instructions.'