Grocers Gifts

Life in a food desert.

Mouse shopping after hours

'With the bank in our store, we'll know instantly whether your check will bounce.'

Domestic Superheroes!!

"Good For You / Bad For You"

'No Renee, not until you get two degrees, pass a rigorous physical, and beat out thousands of other qualified individuals.'

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

Twenty-first century baby walker

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

"Wild-caught, farm-raised, lab-grown, beach-found, or aquarium-harvested."

Thank you, Essential Workers

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great beers for under $4.00 a six-pack.'

Important Food Groups

"Milk, butter, bread - all past the expiration date. either he just hadn't noticed before, or his time machine worked."

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

Instant Laundry Detergent, 'Just add water'.

Dad Trophies

"I hope we can sell everything before it's time for mom to make dinner."

"Since you're skiing down to the store, we could use a whole lot more steaks."

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

Supermarket - World Cup Specials

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

Only One Item or Fewer.

"Everything's gone up."

'Our health-care system - eat organically.'

Non-Humble Pie.

Only 1 calorie per serving: One million servings per can.

"Oh, no - not another farmer's market!"

"Wait, what are you doing?"

Berries, Roots, Tubers, Stems, Leaves.