Gridlock Philosopher Gifts

'Entering Washington, DC. Congressional 'civility' level: undetectable.'

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

Yes, That Was The Exit

''Food miles' is a big issue, so I'm reducing the distance my food travels by moving my fridge into the living room.'

"If I knew when this was going to end, it wouldn't be so stressful."

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

"If find people express themslves more freely in traffic jams."

Quarantine: Day Quinty-Neven

'When Einstein wrote about time and relativity he must have been watching a football game where the last 30 seconds took two hours.'

COVID Era Intel

A man reads "Traffic Times" while stuck in traffic.

'Aw, come on guys - at the end of the day, it's only a game - right?'

The world on lockdown

'I don't feel at home on the range any more!'

"In the Wild Wild West, we say, if it isn't yours, DON'T TAKE IT..."

"How many days have we been like this?"

Two men fight with Law and Order signs.

"It's just the lockdown syndrome. You miss taking the subway to work."

"...umm, when was the last time somebody cleaned the fridge?!"

"Rats, the peace-talks are progressing well and they're pushing for a cease-fire: better make the most of it while we can..."

You Don't Know What It's Like

Art Museum vs Refrigerator Artwork

Fred raises the "Late Bloomer" bar to a new level.

'For Heaven's sake, Charlotte! Relax! We're on holiday!'

'It gets me from A to B alright but it won't get me from B back to A!!'

'Nothing to do? Why don't you read the refrigerator.'

Europe

Abandon all hope,you who enter here.

"I don't care if 'the medium is the message'. You can't draw directly on the fridge!"

How does she get her grass so green?

'Henry was really counting on dying.'

Twisted Peel has a bout of road rage.

"The tunnel at the end of the light!"

"We're sort of open."

'Why do they call it rush hour when no one goes anywhere?'