Green Investor Gifts

"You can take it with you down here - but no social conscience funds."

'Your goal was a portfolio that's environmentally friendly! All you worthless stock certificate can now be used as mulch.'

Money feeds tree of property

"In view of climate change, I'd put all my money into ice cream, mineral water and weapons!"

The Economy Discovers FFF!

"I'm carbon neutral. All my junk bonds are printed on recycled paper."

Nature versus commerce.

Bottle Bank: For the Colour Blind.

Genetic modification creating plastic from plant cellulose.

Sea weed harvest.

"Yeah, vertical cemeteries are helping urban sustainability. But going by haunted cemetery standards ... kinda lame."

Putting money back in to the world economy

Investments: Yes, we have organic, local & cruelty-free stocks.

Climate Crisis and the Banks

'But on the plus side, I felt better about owning a SUV as soon as I bought some oil stocks.'

'The diagnostic computer says it's in your financial best interest to invest in the companies whose drugs you take.'

"I didn't just store my acorns - I invested them in a high performance stock portfolio."

'A 7 load? Do you think I was born yesterday? Oh, wait, I was.'

"I only invest in alternative meat products, so I reject the terms 'Bull' and 'Bear'."

Environmentally Friendly Transport

Wind Energy Systems Inc.

Energy Research.

'Mr Hines, invest in two 'feel good' stocks, and call me in the morning.'

"I present to you the new steam-powered, electricity-generating windmill! Fueled by grass clippings, wind and cow doo-doo. I think we can safely say that green just got greener!"

"Your 401(k) is a low-risk investment, other than a few stocks that happen to finance the end of human civilization as we know it."

'I'm doing my bit got the planet by investing in biofuels. . . Mind you, the fact that they'll have to strip-mine South America for crop space may well put a few noses out of joint.'

'Business' recycling, heart thinking planet, head thinking money

'And their financial E.K.G. shows that they are in excellent health.'

'The Dow is going up, the Dow is going down, the Dow is...'

Holistic Stocks, Inc.

Formula One eco helmet

Mall Redesign Competition Winner.

'Your shops were known for selling secondhand tat, but we want to reimage them as environmentally leading edge social centres for the reutilisation in an enviornmentally sustainable way of secondhand tat!...'

Recycling

'Our new 'green' fund invests in companies that pay lots of cold, hard cash dividends.'