Eco-conscious Investor Gifts

"We made three billion dollars mining Bitcoin, minus our electricity bill - that comes to $1.61."

"I didn't use to believe in global warming, but that was before I discovered how to make a profit off it."

"Look at all that stock market green, and tell me if we're making it a greener planet."

'I'm doing my bit got the planet by investing in biofuels. . . Mind you, the fact that they'll have to strip-mine South America for crop space may well put a few noses out of joint.'

"I'm all for 'Greener' stocks if it means higher yields and dividends."

Melting Greenland Ice to cause sea levels to rise by 1 foot...

Bee flying to another flower.

"Stop summoning me about rising sea levels. I do costumed supervillains staling jewels, men in beanies grabbing handbags - that sort of thing."

We're cutting the forest in half, so I'm going to need you to make the oxygen of two trees.

"We're odd looking but just as good."

"All this spinning...shouldn't this be charging our phones or something?"

"What's your favorite planet, Randy?" "There is only one answer, little buddy. There is only one planet full of lush, green forests and beautiful, windswept ocean vista... all of which are natural aphrodisiacs that inspire lovers, philosophers and poets." "You know, Pandora is not a real planet." "I'm talking about Earth, you... Do you ever go outside?"

"The homes in this area are beautiful."

REPENT! Get back to nature

"It seems even the local council are aware of your drink problem."

Putting money back in to the world economy

The Economy Discovers FFF!

Man rolling the world across a shaky bridge between organic food and genetic food.

"hmm. Mother Nature's definitely trying to tell us something here."

Climate Crisis and the Banks

Investments: Yes, we have organic, local & cruelty-free stocks.

No one drinks from fountains anymore. Thanks to bottled water, they've been replaced. By bottled water fountains.

"And you call yourself a socially-responsible investment portfolio!"

"Scientists don't know anything. . . but we need to leave this to those more qualified. . . like scientists!"

'These fruits and vegetables are very colorful, large, free of blemishes, pulpy and tasteless.'

"You can take it with you down here - but no social conscience funds."

'But on the plus side, I felt better about owning a SUV as soon as I bought some oil stocks.'

Food Pyramid.

I keep taking him back because I'm a big believer in recycling

Voting is about to start and they're campaigning furiously down there. The DNA is discussing policy in depth. DNA has detailed plans. The carbon dioxide is complaining about the negative press coverage its getting, and the chlorophyll is pushing a green agenda. The individual atom candidates are receiving lots of attention --- their truthfulness is being questioned. Voters must have heard that "atoms make up everything"!

Tree funeral.

"In view of climate change, I'd put all my money into ice cream, mineral water and weapons!"

"I only invest in alternative meat products, so I reject the terms 'Bull' and 'Bear'."

"Why can't you just buy some modern LED lights?"

'Look, a cloud from when the climate still worked properly'