Eco-friendly Investor Gifts

'But on the plus side, I felt better about owning a SUV as soon as I bought some oil stocks.'

'So, gentlemen, how's the dollar trading against the immortal soul, today?'

"Secondhand books, reheated coffee"

Putting money back in to the world economy

IOC and human rights.

Climate Crisis and the Banks

"And you call yourself a socially-responsible investment portfolio!"

Investments: Yes, we have organic, local & cruelty-free stocks.

The Economy Discovers FFF!

'Stocks rose on news that 'green' - the color of money - is considered environmentally friendly.'

"You can take it with you down here - but no social conscience funds."

'Excellent idea, Primrose...but will the public buy it?'

"I only invest in alternative meat products, so I reject the terms 'Bull' and 'Bear'."

"In view of climate change, I'd put all my money into ice cream, mineral water and weapons!"

'To avoid any conflict, I've put my ethics in a blind trust.'

"Don't include any tobacco stocks in your portfolio- they'll only stunt its growth."

"I can't keep giving you stock tips. The SEC has been making 'insider trading' inquiries."

Elephant Upgrade

Money feeds tree of property

'Getting a big bonus to risk other people's money makes me wonder if I am part of a conspiracy.'

"Your 401(k) is a low-risk investment, other than a few stocks that happen to finance the end of human civilization as we know it."

'I'm doing my bit got the planet by investing in biofuels. . . Mind you, the fact that they'll have to strip-mine South America for crop space may well put a few noses out of joint.'

'They're the angel of social conscience funds and his evil twin, greedy devil.'

'The Dow is going up, the Dow is going down, the Dow is...'

Multi-Functional

Green Bank

'It's not a spitoon. It's for scruples.'

Holistic Stocks, Inc.

"It seems to me it's a little unethical to recommend only ethical companies."

'I can still remember the days when you had a social conscience'.

'Our new 'green' fund invests in companies that pay lots of cold, hard cash dividends.'

'Now that's my kind of green technology!'

'The top graph shows the patient's progress. The bottom one's the drug company's share price.'

'Our social conscience fund invests in companies that don't do animal testing.'