Green Energy Consultant Gifts

"If we build our own still to convert our corn to ethanol, we could become the middle man, too."

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

Rare earths are the key to a greenwashed, technotopian future

'Every piece of equipment is hooked up to battery cells in the basement, and we actually sell electricity back to the power company!'

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

Wind-generated power. Wind turbines attached to Battersea Power Station's iconic chimneys

"We finally reached net zero emissions."

'Garfield has told the oil companies to go to hell.'

'The only problem downtown offices have using solar power is finding a long enough extension cord.'

The Not-So Smart Meter

'And this one's framed in beautiful Brazilian hardwood.'

We're cutting the forest in half, so I'm going to need you to make the oxygen of two trees.

"Our detractors call it suburban sprawl, but I prefer thinking of our plan as 'sustainable over-development!'"

'I say we invade and secure all those renewable resources.'

"I have a new program that draws from his energy to power all our computers and phones. We should be good for the next 10 years."

"That concludes my presentation on popular music and alternative energy."

Fuel bill gone through the roof

"Yes, also it keeps you fit."

Sustainability files, ways to reduce your carbon footprint

Nuclear generation of energy.

"If we do hire you, will you promise to bring a bag lunch and dispose of the bag in the proper receptacle?"

Lighthouse has energy efficient light bulb.

Solar Panel

Environment policy.

Fred deciding which sort of power to use to cut wood for his wood burning air conditioner.

City Windfarms.

"All our donuts are hand fried in what will eventually become biofuel."

Price may vary with weather.

'Sorry, but my car is a hybrid and I wouldn't accept anything less in a husband.'

Another environmentally correct office product: The executive desk/organizer-fish ladder

'... and power outages on really hot days don't affect this baby one bit.'

"'COST: shedloads, COMPLETION DATE: God knows.' Perhaps you'd care to flesh out some details for us."

Conservation bookshelf has a dead plant on top of it.

"Turns that out! - We're supposed to be saving energy!!"

COP29