Eco-friendly Consultant Gifts

"Hey mister! Maybe if you put cards in your tires people could hear you coming!"

Rare earths are the key to a greenwashed, technotopian future

The Environmentalist

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

"We finally reached net zero emissions."

A tourist inadvertently destroying the place he is visiting

"I sure hope there's something good in here. I worked up quite an appetite getting past that raccoon-proof lid."

'You have to Marvell eh - 'annihalating all that's made to a green thought in a green shade.''

'And this one's framed in beautiful Brazilian hardwood.'

"Our detractors call it suburban sprawl, but I prefer thinking of our plan as 'sustainable over-development!'"

"That concludes my presentation on popular music and alternative energy."

Environmentalist Brainstorm

Cat Panels. Cats soak up sun on rooftop like solar panels.

Solar Panel

"Not to mention the park view."

"If we do hire you, will you promise to bring a bag lunch and dispose of the bag in the proper receptacle?"

Sustainability files, ways to reduce your carbon footprint

The following wildlife film is sponsored in part by a grant from...Mother Nature Foundation.

Environment policy.

"All our donuts are hand fried in what will eventually become biofuel."

City Windfarms.

Price may vary with weather.

'But Honey, if we have kids, we won't be endangered anymore: We will lose all the social benefits and attention...'

Another environmentally correct office product: The executive desk/organizer-fish ladder

"Turns that out! - We're supposed to be saving energy!!"

Leaf Thinks: 'At times like this I'm happy to have a green job.'

"Great, microplastic - there goes the neighborhood."

Conservation bookshelf has a dead plant on top of it.

"Sorry, Edmund, but this is going to be a paper-free office."

"'COST: shedloads, COMPLETION DATE: God knows.' Perhaps you'd care to flesh out some details for us."

"It's a lot of work, but we've decided to renovate this old factory."

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.