Eco-friendly Consultant Gifts

"Hey mister! Maybe if you put cards in your tires people could hear you coming!"

Rare earths are the key to a greenwashed, technotopian future

The Environmentalist

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

"We finally reached net zero emissions."

A tourist inadvertently destroying the place he is visiting

'And this one's framed in beautiful Brazilian hardwood.'

Coexist. Coexhaust.

'You have to Marvell eh - 'annihalating all that's made to a green thought in a green shade.''

We're cutting the forest in half, so I'm going to need you to make the oxygen of two trees.

Tommy Cooper at the bottle bank - Glass, Bottle, Bottle, Glass..

"I sure hope there's something good in here. I worked up quite an appetite getting past that raccoon-proof lid."

"Our detractors call it suburban sprawl, but I prefer thinking of our plan as 'sustainable over-development!'"

Environmentalist Brainstorm

"That concludes my presentation on popular music and alternative energy."

Cat Panels. Cats soak up sun on rooftop like solar panels.

"If we do hire you, will you promise to bring a bag lunch and dispose of the bag in the proper receptacle?"

"Not to mention the park view."

Solar Panel

The following wildlife film is sponsored in part by a grant from...Mother Nature Foundation.

Sustainability files, ways to reduce your carbon footprint

Environment policy.

"All our donuts are hand fried in what will eventually become biofuel."

City Windfarms.

'But Honey, if we have kids, we won't be endangered anymore: We will lose all the social benefits and attention...'

Price may vary with weather.

Another environmentally correct office product: The executive desk/organizer-fish ladder

Conservation bookshelf has a dead plant on top of it.

"Great, microplastic - there goes the neighborhood."

Pandora's boxes

"'COST: shedloads, COMPLETION DATE: God knows.' Perhaps you'd care to flesh out some details for us."

"It's a lot of work, but we've decided to renovate this old factory."

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

Leaf Thinks: 'At times like this I'm happy to have a green job.'

"Sorry, Edmund, but this is going to be a paper-free office."