Environmental Consultant Gifts

Indian burial ground.

"So it's agreed then. There'll be no third runway, and you'll head the Fourth Runway steering group."

"Is nuclear power the frying pan or the fire?"

'It's mine and you can't have it.' Morris was finding it more difficult than most to adjust to the concept of a 'paperless' office.'

'Rising energy costs have forced us to turn off the light at the end of the tunnel.'

'One day, this will all be your fault.'

May or May not be Hazardous Material...

'And it was about here that we decided to go paperless.'

"Great location, new roof, central air, underground storage tanks full of toxic waste, double garage, ceramic tile?"

GREEN IT. 'But the power savings are considerable...'

Environmental Protection Agency

'Who ordered 10,000 copies of how to conserve paper?'

Refuse Point: Confused and Unsure

'I'm very pleased to report to the shareholders that as a result of conservation efforts and our use of alternative energy sources, we have been able to eliminate the entire big toe from our carbon footprint.'

"Not only do we have to be environmentally responsible, but socially too?"

Environment policy.

How Many It Takes

'All our appliances come with energy saving device - off/on switch.'

'I've been nominated 'Industrialist of the Year' and the Dept of Environment are going to prosecute me for pollution.'

Filing cabinet has compost in bottom drawer. Man says: 'It's part of our new green-office initiative.'

'We're very pleased. They said it's hazardous but not toxic.'

'Business' recycling, heart thinking planet, head thinking money

'As you can see from these full-colour charts, we're spending a lot of money on toner.'

"Our detractors call it suburban sprawl, but I prefer thinking of our plan as 'sustainable over-development!'"

"The hard part is reducing emissions and building climate resilience. The hard part is that all the stakeholders need to coordinate and cooperate for years."

"I told you we needed deeper foundations!"

'More people will buy our cars if we become a carbon neutral company.'

'I'm sensitive to environmental issues. Sell all of my blue chip stocks and get me into green chip stocks.'

"We finally reached net zero emissions."

Town Planning Dept looking at map with parks and green spaces. 'Ok! Let's eat our greens'

Post Brexit Farming Wildife Benefits

'The dept. of agriculture says yes, the environmental protection agency says maybe, and the food and drug administration says no.'

"All very impressive, gentlemen...but where are you hoping to find people tiny enough to live in them?"

Novel airport noise abatement procedures.

'We are an environmentally sensitive organization. We will have to do a background check on the size of your carbon footprint before we can make an offer of employment.'