Environmental Specialist Gifts

Sewage bill

'Since hooking our generators up to your exercise machines, we've cut our fuel consumption by 25.'

You should all get along beautifully. Fred handles toxic wastes, Doris works at a nuclear reactor, and Walter just isn't taking any chances.

'Does my bum look big in this?'

The Jeopardy of Progress

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated.

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

What are you giving Mother Earth this year?

'What motivated you to become a environmentalist?'

...And he calls himself the 'Green' Giant...

Humans...What is their purpose?

'He's not a pet. He's an endangered species.'

The Solar System (after deregulation)

North Pole

Rare earths are the key to a greenwashed, technotopian future

"Not only pharmaceuticals - we're also finding all sorts of industrial chemicals here."

Pipe Dream.

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

'Don't feel bad — all tree huggers get a splinter now and then.'

Deforestation.

The Environmentalist

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

Natural Disasters

Polluted geese

"Stop the throw-away mentality! Save resources! A New Year every 750 days is quite enough!"

But is it organic?

"Now they're referring to us as ecology nuts."

"It's not the social stigma. It's the mercury."

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

'It's not easy being green on grass!'

"We just haven't been flapping them hard enough."

Wind-generated power. Wind turbines attached to Battersea Power Station's iconic chimneys

"We finally reached net zero emissions."

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.