Energy Consultants Gifts

"Government guidelines are right... exceeding 30 units a week is bad for your wealth."

Project Supreme Fuel Efficiency

"Stock options for your thoughts."

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

Rare earths are the key to a greenwashed, technotopian future

'Every piece of equipment is hooked up to battery cells in the basement, and we actually sell electricity back to the power company!'

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

Wind-generated power. Wind turbines attached to Battersea Power Station's iconic chimneys

"We finally reached net zero emissions."

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

"The meeting will last until lunch, or hell freezes over, whichever is longer."

Yomp Foundation Presentation committee: 'Don't let the gong intimidate you!'

'The only problem downtown offices have using solar power is finding a long enough extension cord.'

"Oh dear...I don't think negotiations are going too well..."

The Not-So Smart Meter

We're cutting the forest in half, so I'm going to need you to make the oxygen of two trees.

"Our detractors call it suburban sprawl, but I prefer thinking of our plan as 'sustainable over-development!'"

"We offer a generous flex time policy - you can work your 90 hours per week any way you'd like."

'I say we invade and secure all those renewable resources.'

"I'm so efficient I can screw up two assignments in the time it takes most people to screw up just one."

Fuel bill gone through the roof

"I have a new program that draws from his energy to power all our computers and phones. We should be good for the next 10 years."

Matryoshka/ Russian Gas Cylinders

"That concludes my presentation on popular music and alternative energy."

"C'mon people! All for me and me for me!"

'I need to borrow your Ph.D. for a half hour tomorrow. I have a major problem to solve.'

Solar Panel

Lighthouse has energy efficient light bulb.

"If we do hire you, will you promise to bring a bag lunch and dispose of the bag in the proper receptacle?"

Nuclear generation of energy.

'I'm still not sure HOW it happened. One minute, we were bouncing ideas off each other, and the next thing I knew, we were using furniture instead!'

Environment policy.

City Windfarms.

Price may vary with weather.