Energy Efficiency Consultant Gifts

'Yeah, there's a gentleman here who says he's come to caulk where others have been too afraid to caulk.'

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

'Office' block tightening it's belt

Wind-generated power. Wind turbines attached to Battersea Power Station's iconic chimneys

'The only problem downtown offices have using solar power is finding a long enough extension cord.'

Motivation to work

'Everyone in the company wears one, Yomp! It's what keeps us focused!'

The Not-So Smart Meter

"This works, so why do we need to spend all that energy building a nest?"

"And with the optional remote you make all these little lights go off and on really quickly." You can have an IT system with all the latest bells and whistles...or you could have one that WORKS

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

'The massive arrests have made the plans for downsizing much easier.'

'I say we invade and secure all those renewable resources.'

Desk Boxes: 'In', 'Out', 'Could Go Either Way'.

Fuel bill gone through the roof

"I'm so efficient I can screw up two assignments in the time it takes most people to screw up just one."

"That concludes my presentation on popular music and alternative energy."

"I have a new program that draws from his energy to power all our computers and phones. We should be good for the next 10 years."

Cat shoes: For those who are too busy to do their own walking.

'It's cheaper than gas.'

'We've cut and pasted your list into 84 arbitrary sub-lists. Well, our work here is done.'

...The computer says you can handle 20 more work

Nuclear generation of energy.

Lighthouse has energy efficient light bulb.

"So, you want me to go all the way back to the kitchen just to get you a menu...? Couldn't I just give you a link to our, online menu?!"

Solar Panel

It come's to my attention that you have been doing the work of two men.

The paperless office sign covered in post-it notes

"We only got up to three 'whys' and a 'what the hell'."

'It says it works so fast, it's accumulated seven thousand years of vacation with pay.'

City Windfarms.

'Well I've finished the project on time and on budget!' 'Oh, that means I've given you too much time and too much money!'