Grappling Gifts

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

"I like going to school...and I like coming home from school. It's all the stuff in the middle that gives me trouble."

'I think we'd be more confident about meeting our targets if we could work out what they were!'

'I got an alleged C on my criminal law test.'

"God works in mysterious ways."

'I'm not sure what I want out of life, but I want a lot of it.'

Tell me about it--last night I ate a whole sleeve of Communion wafers.

"I just feel like I'm constantly disappointing parents everytime I appear on report cards."

Bad times to sneeze

"Today you will learn the 'Paper Cut' technique."

Grim Reapers sitting their 'Finals'.

'Get him in a full nelson, you dolt! You'll never pin him with a Heimlich maneuver!'

"I think she marked yours in blue pen because she used up all her red on mine."

"Keep it up. His knuckles are getting really sore"

Man crushing grapes with flippers.

'I would've done better in geography, but the test on Australia boomeranged.'

"Math would have been a 'A' if you factor in the fudge factor. I got caught fudging on the final."

"Marriage and water, I find, don't mix."

'I think I caught one of those fish showing on the graph.'

'Sorry professor, my mind was some other place.'

"Look, I got a good grade because I worked hard. It's like riding a bike...stay in your seat, keep moving forward and you'll reach your goal. Unless you hit a lipstick case dropped in the middle of the road."

'Such petulance!'

How's the writer's block?

'If I had Doppler, it would be predicting a storm when my parents see this grade on my meteorology test.'

Cat boxer

'Mum, Dad, I've downgraded my academic forecast.'

'If my grades don't improve, I don't know what'll happen. Maybe they'll offer me a buyout.'

'Alright, gentlemen, I think we'll dispense with 'cheese'...'

'You're not achieving the bench marks.'

'Part of me wants to get caught. I need to get in touch with that part and beat the hell out of it.'

"There is no complaint department, Robert."

'I know I'm just a weather reporter, doc, but I feel guilty every time it rains.'

"Look, Dad, I can explain my report card... Maybe I'm not the best student in the world...maybe I'll never be as good as you want me to be... Maybe..."

"I am Baldonator, the meanest fighter around! No one dares mess with me."

'... blast off!... Uh-oh. Houston, we have a problem.'