Guideline Grapplers Gifts

"Sure I'd be happy to give you some innovative thinking! What are the guidelines?"

The Jeopardy of Progress

"I like going to school...and I like coming home from school. It's all the stuff in the middle that gives me trouble."

Pinocchio's Second Realization

'I got an alleged C on my criminal law test.'

Secretive Weigh In.

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

"God works in mysterious ways."

"I just feel like I'm constantly disappointing parents everytime I appear on report cards."

Bad times to sneeze

"Today you will learn the 'Paper Cut' technique."

Grim Reapers sitting their 'Finals'.

'Get him in a full nelson, you dolt! You'll never pin him with a Heimlich maneuver!'

"I think she marked yours in blue pen because she used up all her red on mine."

"Keep it up. His knuckles are getting really sore"

'Today I invested in some Chinese stocks, but I felt greedy again in an hour.'

"On the one hand, we'll burn in hell; on the other, that's a lot of money."

Man crushing grapes with flippers.

'I think I caught one of those fish showing on the graph.'

'I would've done better in geography, but the test on Australia boomeranged.'

"Marriage and water, I find, don't mix."

"Math would have been a 'A' if you factor in the fudge factor. I got caught fudging on the final."

'Sorry professor, my mind was some other place.'

'Such petulance!'

'If I had Doppler, it would be predicting a storm when my parents see this grade on my meteorology test.'

"Look, I got a good grade because I worked hard. It's like riding a bike...stay in your seat, keep moving forward and you'll reach your goal. Unless you hit a lipstick case dropped in the middle of the road."

"Those image resolutions are crystal clear, but it's my New Year's resolutions that are getting pretty fuzzy."

Cat boxer

'Mum, Dad, I've downgraded my academic forecast.'

'You're not achieving the bench marks.'

'If my grades don't improve, I don't know what'll happen. Maybe they'll offer me a buyout.'

'Part of me wants to get caught. I need to get in touch with that part and beat the hell out of it.'

'Alright, gentlemen, I think we'll dispense with 'cheese'...'

"There is no complaint department, Robert."

'I know I'm just a weather reporter, doc, but I feel guilty every time it rains.'