Guideline Grapplers Gifts

"Sure I'd be happy to give you some innovative thinking! What are the guidelines?"

The Jeopardy of Progress

"I like going to school...and I like coming home from school. It's all the stuff in the middle that gives me trouble."

Pinocchio's Second Realization

'I got an alleged C on my criminal law test.'

Secretive Weigh In.

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

"God works in mysterious ways."

"Today you will learn the 'Paper Cut' technique."

Bad times to sneeze

"I just feel like I'm constantly disappointing parents everytime I appear on report cards."

Grim Reapers sitting their 'Finals'.

'Get him in a full nelson, you dolt! You'll never pin him with a Heimlich maneuver!'

"I think she marked yours in blue pen because she used up all her red on mine."

"Keep it up. His knuckles are getting really sore"

'Today I invested in some Chinese stocks, but I felt greedy again in an hour.'

"On the one hand, we'll burn in hell; on the other, that's a lot of money."

Man crushing grapes with flippers.

'I think I caught one of those fish showing on the graph.'

'Sorry professor, my mind was some other place.'

"Marriage and water, I find, don't mix."

'I would've done better in geography, but the test on Australia boomeranged.'

"Math would have been a 'A' if you factor in the fudge factor. I got caught fudging on the final."

"Look, I got a good grade because I worked hard. It's like riding a bike...stay in your seat, keep moving forward and you'll reach your goal. Unless you hit a lipstick case dropped in the middle of the road."

'Such petulance!'

'Mum, Dad, I've downgraded my academic forecast.'

'If I had Doppler, it would be predicting a storm when my parents see this grade on my meteorology test.'

"Those image resolutions are crystal clear, but it's my New Year's resolutions that are getting pretty fuzzy."

Cat boxer

'If my grades don't improve, I don't know what'll happen. Maybe they'll offer me a buyout.'

'You're not achieving the bench marks.'

'Alright, gentlemen, I think we'll dispense with 'cheese'...'

'Part of me wants to get caught. I need to get in touch with that part and beat the hell out of it.'

"There is no complaint department, Robert."

'I know I'm just a weather reporter, doc, but I feel guilty every time it rains.'