Graph Gourmet Gifts

"Pie chart"

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

'I can't wait 'til hunting is googling and gathering is calling out for delivery.'

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

Tarzan of the Grapes.

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

"This is locally grown and good for the environment, but it may give you greenhouse gas."

Keith Floyd.

"Vegetables, vegetables, vegetables, welcome to my dystopian world!"

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

Veggie Hall of Fame.

"All our donuts are hand fried in what will eventually become biofuel."

Sure, I'll take a sandwich

Stuffing the turkey.

"Put out the Asian sates, the Russian blinis, and the Mexican bean dips, while whip up something Korean."

'I'm writing a vegetarian cook book.'

'Hello, Ebeneezer! It's me - the ghost of coming dinner!'

The Good Feud Guide - 'Delia Smith does a nice roasted Worrall-Thompson.'

"I didn't realize there was so many different kinds of vegetables!"

'Can you pass me the saw-dust when you're finished with it Darling?'

'Eat your lettuce. It'll put colour back in your cheeks.'

Microwave confusion.

"I didn't know they could make so many entrees with vegetables!"

Vet to angry-looking dog: 'You ate some crabgrass, eh? Were you self-medicating again?'

"...and, for those parishioners who insist on a Eucharist made with all organic, locally-sourced ingredients, see Father Maguire at aisle three."

"I'm getting subtle hints of chlorophyll."

"I certainly hope you're composting the leftovers."

'Are you sure you washed this salad?'

Chicago School of Home Economics

Geographical Society Christmas Dinner.

'Mom always told us to eat the greens!'

"It needs a dash of gravel, I reckon."

"Just picking up some Super Bowl provisions."

Storefront reading "Net 'n' Nosh (Formerly Books 'n' Java)"