Ghost Gourmet Gifts

Soul Food

'Hello, Ebeneezer! It's me - the ghost of coming dinner!'

"Have you been snacking between meals again..?"

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

"Everything on our menu uses organic, locally sourced, graveyard-to-table ingredients."

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

"This is locally grown and good for the environment, but it may give you greenhouse gas."

"Vegetables, vegetables, vegetables, welcome to my dystopian world!"

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

Veggie Hall of Fame.

"All our donuts are hand fried in what will eventually become biofuel."

"Put out the Asian sates, the Russian blinis, and the Mexican bean dips, while whip up something Korean."

Stuffing the turkey.

'I'm writing a vegetarian cook book.'

'Can you pass me the saw-dust when you're finished with it Darling?'

"I didn't realize there was so many different kinds of vegetables!"

"Your old Jewish mother with some pickled herring, sir. To remind you of your roots,"

Down on Her.

'Eat your lettuce. It'll put colour back in your cheeks.'

"I'm getting subtle hints of chlorophyll."

"I didn't know they could make so many entrees with vegetables!"

Fermeture des restaurants: la résistance s'organise

"...and, for those parishioners who insist on a Eucharist made with all organic, locally-sourced ingredients, see Father Maguire at aisle three."

'Our five-course dinners start with denial, followed by anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance.'

"I certainly hope you're composting the leftovers."

'Are you sure you washed this salad?'

"All I've got left is smoked."

"Who gets what?"

'Now watch and listen!'

'Mom always told us to eat the greens!'

"@#!!!%$ the critics!! Give me Bobby $#@!! Flay!!"

"I swear, you won't be able to tell the difference, plus, turkey eye of newt is much healthier for you."

'It's just Frank's ghost returning for a bottle of wine. It doesn't tend to keep well, where he ended up.'

'You wish, Timmy.'