Ghost Gourmet Gifts

Soul Food

'Hello, Ebeneezer! It's me - the ghost of coming dinner!'

"Have you been snacking between meals again..?"

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

"Everything on our menu uses organic, locally sourced, graveyard-to-table ingredients."

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

"This is locally grown and good for the environment, but it may give you greenhouse gas."

"Vegetables, vegetables, vegetables, welcome to my dystopian world!"

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

Veggie Hall of Fame.

"All our donuts are hand fried in what will eventually become biofuel."

Stuffing the turkey.

"Put out the Asian sates, the Russian blinis, and the Mexican bean dips, while whip up something Korean."

'I'm writing a vegetarian cook book.'

'Can you pass me the saw-dust when you're finished with it Darling?'

"I didn't realize there was so many different kinds of vegetables!"

"Your old Jewish mother with some pickled herring, sir. To remind you of your roots,"

'Eat your lettuce. It'll put colour back in your cheeks.'

"I didn't know they could make so many entrees with vegetables!"

"...and, for those parishioners who insist on a Eucharist made with all organic, locally-sourced ingredients, see Father Maguire at aisle three."

Fermeture des restaurants: la résistance s'organise

"I'm getting subtle hints of chlorophyll."

Down on Her.

'Our five-course dinners start with denial, followed by anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance.'

'Are you sure you washed this salad?'

"I certainly hope you're composting the leftovers."

'Now watch and listen!'

"All I've got left is smoked."

'Mom always told us to eat the greens!'

"Who gets what?"

"I swear, you won't be able to tell the difference, plus, turkey eye of newt is much healthier for you."

I love Sprouts

'WIll that be with or without methane, sir?'

"Well, we went through the fruit and veg, and thought we should try something more exotic - like the space-time continuum."