Gag Gourmet Gifts

'How about another round of applause for my can opener.'

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

The Origins of Everything

"He won't eat anything but corn."

"Your Honor, prior to sentencing, if it please the court, I'd like to make just a few brief remarks about pâte brisée."

"Put out the Asian sates, the Russian blinis, and the Mexican bean dips, while whip up something Korean."

"Just one more outburst and I can have this chicken tenderized."

"I bet you can't name one person who makes a better lengua casserole than me!"

'Whatever he's eating.'

'Hello, Ebeneezer! It's me - the ghost of coming dinner!'

'YAY! PATE!'

"The Bluetooth Special comes with a side order of Wi-Fi."

'You don't appreciate anything I cook!'

Down on Her.

Stand back - while I whip something up

"Sorry about that. Just following the serving suggestion."

'Now watch and listen!'

Frisbee dog catching pizza dough

'He stubbed-my-toe yell sounds a lot like his chest-pounding victory yell.'

'Coool! What's that called? 'Suicide bomber chicken'?'

'I can't make dinner right now - I'm installing new software.'

How do I know it's yours?

Secular Cloisters

Menu From The Luxury Home of Pancakes

'I add the juice of one bottle of brandy.'

"If you tasted like a Umami, where would you be hiding?"

'WIll that be with or without methane, sir?'

"Well, we went through the fruit and veg, and thought we should try something more exotic - like the space-time continuum."

'Honey, I think you have an error message coming in from the kitchen.'

"Set phazers to medium rare!"

Dummy no. 5836 was found lying in a pool of his own fake vomit.

'These are exquisite! You simply must give me your recipe.'