Gag Gourmet T-Shirts

'How about another round of applause for my can opener.'

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

The Origins of Everything

"He won't eat anything but corn."

"Put out the Asian sates, the Russian blinis, and the Mexican bean dips, while whip up something Korean."

"Your Honor, prior to sentencing, if it please the court, I'd like to make just a few brief remarks about pâte brisée."

"Just one more outburst and I can have this chicken tenderized."

'Whatever he's eating.'

"I bet you can't name one person who makes a better lengua casserole than me!"

"The Bluetooth Special comes with a side order of Wi-Fi."

'Hello, Ebeneezer! It's me - the ghost of coming dinner!'

'YAY! PATE!'

Gastroenterology - Pull Finger For Service.

'You don't appreciate anything I cook!'

Down on Her.

Stand back - while I whip something up

Frisbee dog catching pizza dough

Gross! Get you external hard drive off the dinner table!

"@#!!!%$ the critics!! Give me Bobby $#@!! Flay!!"

'Coool! What's that called? 'Suicide bomber chicken'?'

'Now watch and listen!'

'I can't make dinner right now - I'm installing new software.'

"Sorry about that. Just following the serving suggestion."

'He stubbed-my-toe yell sounds a lot like his chest-pounding victory yell.'

"Set phazers to medium rare!"

"If you tasted like a Umami, where would you be hiding?"

Dummy no. 5836 was found lying in a pool of his own fake vomit.

How do I know it's yours?

'Honey, I think you have an error message coming in from the kitchen.'

Secular Cloisters

"Well, we went through the fruit and veg, and thought we should try something more exotic - like the space-time continuum."

'I add the juice of one bottle of brandy.'

'WIll that be with or without methane, sir?'

Menu From The Luxury Home of Pancakes