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Menu From The Luxury Home of Pancakes

'No swimming. No breathing.'

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

'Colin's dying to show you how his renewable energy scheme works.'

'It's a farton, fartoff lamp!'

Little girl hoses down walkway as Santa slips and falls

'Tell your mom you coughed it up and you're guaranteed a day off from school.'

"He won't eat anything but corn."

Good Dentist ~ Bad Dentist

'YAY! PATE!'

Joke Shop product - Not Funny After 10 Sept 87

Egypt 1896. Dr Howard Prendergast and Percy Smythe discover the tomb of King Ahktuman the Practical Joker, proving conclusively that the ancient Egyptians were the first culture to use whoopee cushion.

'I haven't had the urge for a cigarette for two days. How's the patch working for you?'

"Yikes! Okay, I'm going to pretend I didn't see this."

'...and don't think I didn't see that flying tackle.'

Undertaker with 'light', 'done', and 'RIP' settings on his toaster.

"Because it's got a goddam crack in it, that's why."

'You don't appreciate anything I cook!'

'Congratulations - you're the first victim of recombinant DNA.'

The Fart Side

'Admit it you need glasses, that is my false eyelash you have just sprayed.'

'He stubbed-my-toe yell sounds a lot like his chest-pounding victory yell.'

Wise man scaring baby Jesus.

"What would you serve with toast?"

Toe-Tickling Machine

This would be Andy's first and last day as golf instructor at Sunset Oaks Country Club: "Remember, *hic*....Always jerk your head up and swing at the ball as hard as you can."

Dentist Suction

Chiropodist is wearing a gas mask while treating a client.

'Methane Happens.'

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