Gourmet Gift Seekers T-Shirts

"Yeah, I paid $29 for mouthwash -- it's a small batch mouthwash."

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"You're the lid to my pot."

La Table

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

I wish I'd had the review.

'What wine goes with comfort foods?'

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

"We'd like the roasted homework for two. And fetch us a bottle of your finest toilet water."

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

'I'll give you a bite of my calamari for one of your stuffed shrimp.'

"I didn't invent the wheel. I invented the pizza."

"Don't worry about it now, but I'll need that hook back when you're done."

"The food here is excellent- what time is breakfast?"

"We can hit any creperie you want, sonny boy."

"There must be a place we can wait on line for an hour before eating."

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

Haute Chinese

Join me for dinner?

I told you I got us the best table in the house. Pizza.

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"

"Waiter... my entrée fell over."