Gourmet Gift Lover T-Shirts

"For a really special gift, try our sacrificial virgin olive oil."

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"You're the lid to my pot."

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

'Pigs feet, sir?' 'Are they pickled?'

Victorian Fast Food - 'I'll have the lark pie festooned with eels, a full stilton, two bottles of port,,,'

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

"We'd like the roasted homework for two. And fetch us a bottle of your finest toilet water."

"We'll start with the appetizer, move on to the entree, and then finish up with dessert."

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

'I'll give you a bite of my calamari for one of your stuffed shrimp.'

"The food here is excellent- what time is breakfast?"

"There must be a place we can wait on line for an hour before eating."

Haute Chinese

"Waiter... my entrée fell over."

Join me for dinner?

Thermidor Dali

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

Cheese Pile

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"

I'd like a mocha almond vanilla latte...hold the coffee.

Man with a 'menu', woman with a 'womenu'.

Cut out and keep your own Chef

'I would kill for a truffle.'

"Sorry about the delay, sir. The manager is interviewing chefs at this very moment."

"When you said, 'Let's go out for dinner,' I thought you meant foraging. This is much better!"

'There was sizzle but no steak.'

'Pass the grey stuff.'

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'