Gourmet Gift Lover Pillows

"For a really special gift, try our sacrificial virgin olive oil."

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"You're the lid to my pot."

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

'Pigs feet, sir?' 'Are they pickled?'

"We'll start with the appetizer, move on to the entree, and then finish up with dessert."

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

"We'd like the roasted homework for two. And fetch us a bottle of your finest toilet water."

Victorian Fast Food - 'I'll have the lark pie festooned with eels, a full stilton, two bottles of port,,,'

'I'll give you a bite of my calamari for one of your stuffed shrimp.'

"The food here is excellent- what time is breakfast?"

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"

Cheese Pile

Haute Chinese

Join me for dinner?

"Waiter... my entrée fell over."

I told you I got us the best table in the house. Pizza.

Thermidor Dali

"There must be a place we can wait on line for an hour before eating."

I'd like a mocha almond vanilla latte...hold the coffee.

Man with a 'menu', woman with a 'womenu'.

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

'Pass the grey stuff.'

"Sorry about the delay, sir. The manager is interviewing chefs at this very moment."

'There was sizzle but no steak.'

'I would kill for a truffle.'

Cut out and keep your own Chef