Gourmet Feast Lover Pillows

'Not so much a 'free lunch'...more a 'free seventeen course meal with as much champagne as you can drink'.'

"You're the lid to my pot."

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

Church Basement Foodie

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

Get your no-turkey recipes here! Eco club. Go veggie for T-day! No thanks! I like turkey, sausage, stuffing, creamed onions with bacon and mincemeat pie. I figured as much. How can you tell? Gut check. That's my gut reaction, too.

"How sweet, your hand is trembling."

"We'd like the roasted homework for two. And fetch us a bottle of your finest toilet water."

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

'I'll give you a bite of my calamari for one of your stuffed shrimp.'

"The food here is excellent- what time is breakfast?"

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

Join me for dinner?

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"

I told you I got us the best table in the house. Pizza.

'The braised toucan was fine...although I found the bill a little large.'

"There must be a place we can wait on line for an hour before eating."

Haute Chinese

"Waiter... my entrée fell over."

Man with a 'menu', woman with a 'womenu'.

"This meal tastes just like dog crap!"

'Pass the grey stuff.'

"Sorry about the delay, sir. The manager is interviewing chefs at this very moment."

'There was sizzle but no steak.'

"You see, I don't believe in eating fast. I believe in savoring. I....hey, stop looking at my food!"

'Good thing you ordered a double portion.'

"When you said, 'Let's go out for dinner,' I thought you meant foraging. This is much better!"

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

Cut out and keep your own Chef

"Whatever is quickest - I'm starving!"