Grapefruit Juicer Gifts

Advantages of being bald # 1 - Freshly Squeezed Grapefruit Juice

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

'Would you like some of our house wine? I just made it.'

The Apple Picker Doesn't Fall Far From The Tree....

'There's over 500,000 different wines? Bernie, we've got work to do!'

Wino Appreciation Group

"What the... an apple?! Hey, I can make schnapps out of it and if you've had plenty of it, gravity pulls you to the ground!"

"And would you like a wine stopper?"

A windfall pear falling straight into a bag of windfall pears.

'Careful! Don't drink this here grape juice they're servin'. I've had three bottles now, and my head's a spinnin'.'

'The fruiter surmised that the zineb caused catface.'

Welcome to the real world. What just happened? Where am I? The Mall. The Mall. We've been shopping – in person. Not the kind of shopping where you order things on your phone and have them sent to your house. this is the jungle! And you didn't last five minutes! You were laid out by some geezer hustling to the grocery section to get a special deal on prune juice! E-commerce has made you soft! I've got a scratch on my iPhone.

'I hate making decisions - just bring me a bottle of each.'

"The guests are waiting - how much longer on the wine?"

"They said it had a V-8, so I assumed it would run on tomato juice!"

Me, picking fruit.

"i'm trying to remember the type of California white wine but I like, but my mind keeps drawing a blanc."

'I handled the truth about Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny pretty well, but when I found out that wine is just fermented grape juice...'

"We're kind of farmers. Mom squeezes fruits from the garden to make juice and dad squeezes his workers to make a profit."

'Has Mom caught on to your frozen concentrated pinot noir yet?'

"I dread the pear-picking season."

Pear Lights

"Practice produces many benefits for the bass guitarist: smoother scales, faster arpeggios, and apparently the ability to peel a grapefruit with one hand."

'He drinks the wine and then lays it down.'

"I heard you tell Dad we're having grapefruit for breakfast."

"Grape juice that went to graduate school."

"I'm on a grape-juice cleanse."

Spiro & Pusho and the pear tree.

Institute of Applied Fruit Picking

Picking berries

The British, Picking Fruit

'I hear the old man's retiring next month, and that he'll be hand-picking his successor THIS week!'

"Ahh, wine. Grape juice that went on to earn a graduate degree."