Grand-slam Cattle Rancher Gifts

'Are you sure this is part of the Yankee farm system?'

New Guy.

'I was just playing rodeo and breaking horses.'

Motorherd

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

"Old timers are quick to tell me that the drive to Abilene was different in their day."

'Credit being what it is, I'm sure you won't mind if we see your 200,000 cattle first...'

How Do You Like My Moseying Along?

A Modern Day Cowboy and his Horse.

"Year after year we sit here quietly raising eyebrows, son."

'How can anyone seriously believe that we sleep standing up and with our eyes open ,,,, Hello'

"The boss use to herd cattle before he started the company."

'...OK so you've got the herd mentality... now go out tere and be a herd... now move!'

First there were virtual-pets. Now there are virtual owners and ranchers.

"I prefer the mountains to the beach. I feel like less of a cow.''

Spring branding on the Hashtag Ranch.

Therapy for the cow dependent

Hedge of two moo cows

"You're not helping the methane problem, you know."

The first stock exchange - 'It's agreed then, one of my Longhorns for one of your holsteins.'

'My wife, my rancher, his artificial insemination device!'

'I told him that's where we keep the keys to his ride.'

Zoom Rodeos

They're Brazillian!

"Speed bumps have reduced stampede injuries."

'No, I own the cattle. He's the vet!'

'Can't understand all this fuss over cattle growth hormones.'

'Name tag's up here, Ma'am - I'm from the Cattlemen's Delegation.

Cattle farmer's super-market

"Listen honey, I don't claim to be no expert but I reckon you're going about this cowpuncher thing the whole wrong way."

'Say, Doc, I'll need more of that steroid stuff for old King. He's still kind of peaked. Must need some heavy doses."

"Oh, God, it's the Herefords, pretend we don't see them."