Grain Enthusiast Gifts

Ukrainian Grain

Food Prices and the Ukraine War

Wine Lady

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

'It's not easy being green on grass!'

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

Our farmer brought fresh beans, tomatoes, corn and squash this week. Nice. You should have bought into the farm share. I've got my own farmer. Mine's cheap. Mine's cheaper. Thanks, mom. You can't take more zucchini?

'Burl says it only works with corn though if you want to try it.'

When the ship needed to go faster than Warp Speed, the crew ate lots of pungent beans.

"Just a couple of ninety cent seed packets, and you can have fresh garden vegetables for heaven knows how long."

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

Milking the Cow.

"He won't eat anything but corn."

Browned off cows. They can't pull a cracker.

'We've only got a couple of days to finish this box of cereal. Mom'll never let us eat something called energy-packed after school's out.'

'Then Jack told his mother they were getting out of the dairy business and going into crop production.'

'Snap, crackle, help! I'm lactose intolerant!'

300 cows in a field...grazing!

Power breakfast.

Child Sells Gluten Free Mudpies

An Excellent Nose for Wine.

Gullib-Os

It was then that Cervantes was inspired.

'...And you're always complaining about the government's international trade agreements'

"I want to spill the beans, but I'm waiting till I have access to classified or sensitive beans."

Wine tasting

'Credit being what it is, I'm sure you won't mind if we see your 200,000 cattle first...'

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."

"It's magically delicious...especially when you sprinkle...Halloween candy on it!"

'How about a windfall tax on baked beans?'

"Soy milk and rice milk are okay but I prefer grape milk.".

Where Jelly Beans Come From....

"I spent all day looking for this Malbec, not that anybody cares."

'I, Dom Perignon, will now uncork the very first bottle of Champagne. Of course, I'm just guessing this is the right way to do it.'

'I'm not sure how you managed to burn a bowl of cereal.'