Wholesome Wholegrain Aficionado Gifts

"She's passed out...quick! take her pulses!"

Clown's Comedy Fart.

'We've only got a couple of days to finish this box of cereal. Mom'll never let us eat something called energy-packed after school's out.'

'What are you eating now?'

Cereal Tasting.

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

'Snap, crackle, help! I'm lactose intolerant!'

Power breakfast.

Sister to brother: 'It's kind of like alphabet soup, only for numbers crunchers.'

"It's been 10 years Martha, why are we still eating quinoa?"

Gullib-Os

It was then that Cervantes was inspired.

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

'VEGETARIAN ZOMBIES' BW

"It's magically delicious...especially when you sprinkle...Halloween candy on it!"

'I'm not sure how you managed to burn a bowl of cereal.'

"Everything bad for you has already been removed."

Sugar Crunchies - Free Dental Treatment.

'It's every SNOW flake that's different, Billy - Not every CORN flake.'

Food Prices and the Ukraine War

"We upped the protein by simply factoring in the permissible level of insect parts."

1% Cereal: Now with marshmallow dollar signs.

'It's the natural cereal you requested. No additives. No preservatives. No artificial color.'

"You heard your mother. There's no need to bless the superfoods."

'This may be the only time I'll ever bring you breakfast in bed - So wake up!'

'The dept. of agriculture says yes, the environmental protection agency says maybe, and the food and drug administration says no.'

Witch's breakfast cereal makes the sound: 'Snap, Cackle, Pop.'

"I'll have a gluten-free, hypoallergenic vegan cookie with whipped hand-sanitizer topping."

'Actually, I kind of like peas, but if I eat them, what will mom think of next?'

"Avez-vous Cocoa Puffs?"

"People are inherently complicated, and if you eat it late enough at night, cereal can be dinner and breakfast!"

'You seem grumpy ... have you heard about the benefits of bran in the morning?'

"You confused the Sudso box with the Cruncho box."

"But they taught me how to make a good, nutritious dinner."