Gout Giggler Gifts

"We better be careful, I hear he's suffering from gout."

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

"See this jelly wobbling. It was waving goodbye."

E-vac-u-ate! E-vac-u-ate! . . . I've just farted. . ."

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

The spirit in the wall would go on and ond, but Alvin never let it bother him.

Moo! OOM!

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

'You said I should check back with you if I didn't get any better. . .'

"I'm the black sheep of the family because I'm afraid of the dark."

'U. . .S. .U. .C. .K. . . . L. . O. . L.'

Swinging through the jungle.

'Why are ghosts bad at telling lies?'

'But seriously , folks, I know you're out there, I can hear you bleeding!'

'Henri! We found your sweatband!'

'That was so funny. I haven't booed that loudly in years.'

"Hey Frank, how was your colonoscopy?" "In and out."

'How can it be whole if the wheat has been ground into a powder?'

Ghosts save on electrical & plumbing maintenance costs because they don't need easy access to the inside of walls.

Tred carefully mill.

'Say, how can I convert this FAT file into a nice and small JPG?'

'I really don't need to go to church, Reverend -- I feel guilty enough without it.'

'Fifi's having problems with flatulence!'

"WHOA! It's the spirit of Uncle Larry!"

Help! I'm caught on a pinsetter and I can't get loose!

'Nobody likes a show-off, bub!'

Spiritualist Society Parking

"I'd let her go, but she's so good with the kids."

'Take a piece of candy and a tax form. The treat is a gratuity and therefore reportable income.'

'I see live people.'

Penile Implants

Waiting room.

"Whew, that was rank. I didn't want that baby trapped in this suit. I might have died!"

'Ordinarily, that wouldn't bother me, except Doc did the same blindfold trick last week, when he did my colonoscopy.'