Gourmet Kid Gifts

'Yuck Mum, this wood is way too dry!'

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

The wonderful world of cheese.

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

"Even when he throws them on the floor, he doesn't want the peas and carrots to touch."

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

It turns out they don't go together so well,

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

French wine

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

His Her Cakes

Hamish Harris. The boy bon vivant.

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

To do before Saturday...

Too much cilantro

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

The Main Types of Cheese

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"