Gourmet Hot Dog Lover Gifts

'It's just hot dogs. What does the health department care about hot dogs?'

'Oh, and I suppose I'm the only one who's ever heard it's a 'dog eat dog world'?'

"Any of you guys feel like hot dogs?"

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

How The Sausage Is Eaten

Artisan hot dog stand has pigs tethered to it.

The Classy Dog: 'Dine & dance hotdogs: '50 cents a dance'.

Back in 5 minutes!

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

Oh no ... Outsourcing

Hot Dog Animals: $2

'Mustard, ketchup and mayo are all nice and creamy smooth. Why isn't anything being done about relish?'

"Make me one with everything!"

'We've conducted a chemical analysis of the beef in hot dogs, and we've determined, Mr Ruth, you are guilty of steroid enhancement.'

"I brought my lunch."

"Hey, this is just a bun!" "Help yourself to the mustard."

Nothing puts the flavor in a hot dog like a sports event.

"They're marinated in hot water for six hours."

Failed Firsts. Mary Shelley's "Frankfurter."

Hot dogs. Sushi.

"She doesn't eat raw zebra... Where can we get Alaska wild salmon in cream truffle sauce in the middle of Africa?"

"I can never go metric. 'Al's 30.48 Centimeter Hot Dogs' just doesn't sound right."

'I hear they're really good.'

'I usually take my new clients to nicer places. But my expense account isn't what it used to be.'

It had taken a team of engineers at IBM over a decade and had cost more than 50 million dollars, but that nigh, when Eat-Bot 4000 finally broke the record for hot dogs in an hour, it was all worth it.

Dogs of war.

"Kibbled, canned and frozen were non-starters. But he'll often accept a ice ribeye as long as it's been properly dry aged."

"That's $3.50 for the dog plus 75 cents toxic cooking water disposal surcharge."

"Is the parchment in the salmon en papillote humanely raised?"

'A three means I want to break for a hot dog.'

"Aren't you worried you might poison your customers?"

'No tables are available at this time. Would you be interested in take-out?'

Joe Hundredaire

Car dealers free hotdogs - "The best I can do is mustard and relish, ketchup and onions are optional."