Gourmet Cat Caregiver Gifts

'Freshly ground pepper?'

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

The Cat Spa

'Settle an argument. Which is better incessant barking or meowing?'

"Before you go anywhere, did you lick behind your ears?"

The Not So Wild West

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

'I really hate cleaning this thing.'

"There's no money in your uncle's will. You are, however, directed to maintain his 5 cats and Facebook account."

"Thousands of craft beers and I still haven't found one with a smooth, kibble finish."

After bring your cat to work day, I ended up with 5 extra cats.

"MOUSE FLAVORED CAT FOOD"

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

" ... then subtract 75 pounds for the cat ... "

Woman reads Nigella Lawson cook book: 'Add butter to the mixture, remembering to moisten your lips ... whisk for three to four minutes, pouting throughout ...'

"She doesn't eat raw zebra... Where can we get Alaska wild salmon in cream truffle sauce in the middle of Africa?"

"She's eating in tonight."

'We'd like something new and improved for dinner.'

"Have you made any retirement plans?"

'Freshly ground catnip on your salad?'

"I've learned not to expect a lot of cooperation."

'You realize you're spoiling Bilbo.'

"Has someone forgotten the cucumber slice and lemon wedge in my spring water again, Edna?"

"And this will protect him from distemper."

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'How many spoons do you need to feed a baby?'

When it's time to change the kitty litter box - at the very latest.

Don't forget to feed the python...

"I'm beginning to think I'm the only one without a dog."

Old cat with its own stair lift

'Scamp, this is Doctor Drummond. Stop scratching! Stop it!'

Cat looking up fish recipes.

Lady sees 'Stop' sign above cat at shelter, thinks, 'Well ... I did ask for a sign.'

"The slow approach, the suspicious sniff, the final turning away...nobody does finicky like Precious."

Vet.