Gourami Guru T-Shirts

New! Weeping gourami: 'How can you tell if they're 'weeping'?'

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

Domestic Superheroes!!

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

On the back of the t-shirt...

Muscles

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

Exercise Class

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

At the 2021 Religious Games

"All this spinning...shouldn't this be charging our phones or something?"

"But if you change your system preferences to match mine, is it really love?"

'Kix? Yes, Ma'am -- you can get your Kix on aisle 66.'

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

Lioness Shops for Snacks.

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

Instant Laundry Detergent, 'Just add water'.

The trim reaper

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

"Oh my god -- I can't believe it's real butter!"

Only One Item or Fewer.

Guru.

"Wait, what are you doing?"

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

'What are you eating now?'

"Careful! He knows computers."

"I exercised so much during my first pregnancy that the baby was born with athlete's foot."

"I lost 20lbs on my diet. I guess it's time for a relapse."

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

"That new antibiotic seems to be working. Time to evolve again."

Proceed no further if chakras not aligned.

'Can you take the lid off this jar for me...?'