Gourami Guru Gifts

New! Weeping gourami: 'How can you tell if they're 'weeping'?'

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

Domestic Superheroes!!

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

Muscles

On the back of the t-shirt...

'Every piece of equipment is hooked up to battery cells in the basement, and we actually sell electricity back to the power company!'

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

"All this spinning...shouldn't this be charging our phones or something?"

Exercise Class

At the 2021 Religious Games

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

"But if you change your system preferences to match mine, is it really love?"

Lioness Shops for Snacks.

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

'Kix? Yes, Ma'am -- you can get your Kix on aisle 66.'

Instant Laundry Detergent, 'Just add water'.

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

The trim reaper

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

"Careful! He knows computers."

"I exercised so much during my first pregnancy that the baby was born with athlete's foot."

'What are you eating now?'

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

"I lost 20lbs on my diet. I guess it's time for a relapse."

Guru.

"Oh my god -- I can't believe it's real butter!"

"Wait, what are you doing?"

Only One Item or Fewer.

Proceed no further if chakras not aligned.

"That new antibiotic seems to be working. Time to evolve again."