Guru Go-getter T-Shirts

'This is goodbye, Goopta -- I've decided to make a career move to the Scientologists.'

Tartine

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

Carmel Buildings, Portman Square: A temperance meeting.

'Wow! I never thought it would actually WORK!'

Best Before 5th Pint.

At the 2021 Religious Games

"The raw material was all around me: That's how I got started as a sculptor..."

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

Decorated officer - 'And these are for keeping my pants up.'

"I'm telling you, she's the best in her field."

"I'm starting my own delivery service. Is there anything you want to borrow from my Dad?!"

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

I need to set upmy own company.

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

Life on Earth - The original chat room.

"Whine and cheezed party."

"welcome man cave."

Guru.

Quiz Night...

'Wish you wouldn't cut your nails at bedtime!'

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

"If I had known how adult her place was I would have brought nicer beer."

"I seek enlightenment - and a way to outsource our company's tech support."

The Thinker and the Doer.

"I was a weirdo in this town before anyone even heard of Comic Con."

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

'I warned him about thinking the unthinkable!'

"To mediate properly, you need a mantra. How about 'Ka-Ching'?"

"You've traveled all this way just to score some pot? Okay—How much do you want?"

OM, SWEET OM

When you're wearing your big girl pants...You Can Take On The World!

'The trouble is, once you've attained enlightenment, it's all downhill.'