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'How could cute hurt so much?'

"Here we are."

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

Frankenstein working at a hot dog stand.

'I'd like my £2.50 back'

"So besides opera and lurking, what do you do to relax?"

Giant Monster in Bath

"Who'd have thought old Harry would turn out to be a vampire?"

Vampire coming out of a body piercing shop with a stake in his heart

She kept Dracula at bay with an episode of the Archers.

First Transsylvanian Blood Bank

'Oh great, these guys again! The big guy can't fit inside the MRI scanner, sheet boy falls right through it, and The Count's images never develop...'

"Wait! First, his attorney."

Vampire afternoon tea.

'This feels a bit strange: Are you really from the Blood Bank?'

Death Takes A Time-Share

"I've been transferred to the Transylvanian section"

Fresh Blood In Politics

"Come on - let me guess again."

'He won't bite anyone! I'm hoping it's just a phase.'

Vampire Couple, "I suppose you're out again for your usual eight pints?"

"The meal was delicious. My compliments to the Haematologist"

"Were the x-rays really necessary?"

"As a vegan vampire I suck but I don't swallow."

"Looks like you're due for a cleaning and a sharpening."

"And how would you like your steak?" "Cremated."

"Is that your resting witch or resting bitch face. . .?"

Vampire Humor

'God's teeth - it's just not the same!'

"Our relationship would never work, Megan! We'd always be at each other's throat!"

'Her first telekinesis!'

"Now be honest, does it make me look younger?"

'I just love this new ring tone.'

'Since I started drinking AB Positive blood, I feel a lot better about myself!'

What Vampires and Snowmen have in Common