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'Man, can't find the keys again! Now do you think these things would come with a light? No, that would make too much sense!'

"Here we are."

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

Frankenstein working at a hot dog stand.

Giant Monster in Bath

'I'd like my £2.50 back'

Dracula acquires a taste for maple syrup.

"So besides opera and lurking, what do you do to relax?"

Orientation: Welcome to Hell

"....and hold the garlic."

First Transsylvanian Blood Bank

She kept Dracula at bay with an episode of the Archers.

"It's creepy thinking that Santa can sneak into my house undetected. I must find out how he does it!"

'Oh great, these guys again! The big guy can't fit inside the MRI scanner, sheet boy falls right through it, and The Count's images never develop...'

Vampire Umbrella

'Wow! Did you see who just flitted past? Count Dracula!'

Death Takes A Time-Share

"I've been transferred to the Transylvanian section"

Vampire Couple, "I suppose you're out again for your usual eight pints?"

"So, Claire tells me you ate her parents last night."

Fresh Blood In Politics

'Which one do you think Dracula's in?'

Vampire afternoon tea.

'He won't bite anyone! I'm hoping it's just a phase.'

"The meal was delicious. My compliments to the Haematologist"

"As a vegan vampire I suck but I don't swallow."

"Blood bank robbery...you?"

"Ugh! Damn floss..."

"Our relationship would never work, Megan! We'd always be at each other's throat!"

Vampire Humor

'Her first telekinesis!'

Dracula Waits For the Bus With A Coffin Briefcase.

"Now be honest, does it make me look younger?"

'I just love this new ring tone.'

"Is that your resting witch or resting bitch face. . .?"