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'Man, can't find the keys again! Now do you think these things would come with a light? No, that would make too much sense!'

"Here we are."

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

Dracula acquires a taste for maple syrup.

'I'd like my £2.50 back'

Giant Monster in Bath

"So besides opera and lurking, what do you do to relax?"

Orientation: Welcome to Hell

"....and hold the garlic."

"It's creepy thinking that Santa can sneak into my house undetected. I must find out how he does it!"

She kept Dracula at bay with an episode of the Archers.

First Transsylvanian Blood Bank

'Oh great, these guys again! The big guy can't fit inside the MRI scanner, sheet boy falls right through it, and The Count's images never develop...'

Vampire Umbrella

'He won't bite anyone! I'm hoping it's just a phase.'

'Which one do you think Dracula's in?'

"So, Claire tells me you ate her parents last night."

"I've been transferred to the Transylvanian section"

Death Takes A Time-Share

'Wow! Did you see who just flitted past? Count Dracula!'

Vampire afternoon tea.

Vampire Couple, "I suppose you're out again for your usual eight pints?"

Fresh Blood In Politics

"The meal was delicious. My compliments to the Haematologist"

"As a vegan vampire I suck but I don't swallow."

"Is that your resting witch or resting bitch face. . .?"

Vampire Humor

"And how would you like your steak?" "Cremated."

'Her first telekinesis!'

"Dang it! Honey, this whole batch of type B positive has gone sour!"

"Were the x-rays really necessary?"

"Our relationship would never work, Megan! We'd always be at each other's throat!"

"Now be honest, does it make me look younger?"

"Ugh! Damn floss..."