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'I'd like my £2.50 back'

"Here we are."

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

Dracula acquires a taste for maple syrup.

Giant Monster in Bath

"So besides opera and lurking, what do you do to relax?"

"Who'd have thought old Harry would turn out to be a vampire?"

Vampire coming out of a body piercing shop with a stake in his heart

"....and hold the garlic."

First Transsylvanian Blood Bank

"It's creepy thinking that Santa can sneak into my house undetected. I must find out how he does it!"

She kept Dracula at bay with an episode of the Archers.

'Oh great, these guys again! The big guy can't fit inside the MRI scanner, sheet boy falls right through it, and The Count's images never develop...'

'Which one do you think Dracula's in?'

'He won't bite anyone! I'm hoping it's just a phase.'

'Wow! Did you see who just flitted past? Count Dracula!'

Fresh Blood In Politics

Vampire Couple, "I suppose you're out again for your usual eight pints?"

"Come on - let me guess again."

"So, Claire tells me you ate her parents last night."

"I've been transferred to the Transylvanian section"

Death Takes A Time-Share

Vampire afternoon tea.

"The meal was delicious. My compliments to the Haematologist"

"Our relationship would never work, Megan! We'd always be at each other's throat!"

'Dracula, I'm getting tired of you sitting around all day.'

"Now be honest, does it make me look younger?"

"Dang it! Honey, this whole batch of type B positive has gone sour!"

Vampire Humor

'Her first telekinesis!'

Dracula Waits For the Bus With A Coffin Briefcase.

"Were the x-rays really necessary?"

"Ugh! Damn floss..."

"Is that your resting witch or resting bitch face. . .?"