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"Here we are."

'It's a Vapire.'

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

"So besides opera and lurking, what do you do to relax?"

'I'd like my £2.50 back'

Dracula acquires a taste for maple syrup.

Giant Monster in Bath

Orientation: Welcome to Hell

"....and hold the garlic."

"It's creepy thinking that Santa can sneak into my house undetected. I must find out how he does it!"

She kept Dracula at bay with an episode of the Archers.

First Transsylvanian Blood Bank

'Oh great, these guys again! The big guy can't fit inside the MRI scanner, sheet boy falls right through it, and The Count's images never develop...'

Vampire Umbrella

Trilby - 'Taffy was allowed to see Gecko'.

Death Takes A Time-Share

"I've been transferred to the Transylvanian section"

Fresh Blood In Politics

'Wow! Did you see who just flitted past? Count Dracula!'

'Which one do you think Dracula's in?'

Vampire Couple, "I suppose you're out again for your usual eight pints?"

'He won't bite anyone! I'm hoping it's just a phase.'

"So, Claire tells me you ate her parents last night."

Vampire afternoon tea.

"The meal was delicious. My compliments to the Haematologist"

'Her first telekinesis!'

"Dang it! Honey, this whole batch of type B positive has gone sour!"

Dracula Waits For the Bus With A Coffin Briefcase.

"Is that your resting witch or resting bitch face. . .?"

"Our relationship would never work, Megan! We'd always be at each other's throat!"

'Dracula, I'm getting tired of you sitting around all day.'

"As a vegan vampire I suck but I don't swallow."

"Were the x-rays really necessary?"

"Ugh! Damn floss..."