Gothic Comedy Admirers Pillows

'How could cute hurt so much?'

"Here we are."

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

"So besides opera and lurking, what do you do to relax?"

'I'd like my £2.50 back'

Giant Monster in Bath

"Who'd have thought old Harry would turn out to be a vampire?"

Vampire coming out of a body piercing shop with a stake in his heart

First Transsylvanian Blood Bank

She kept Dracula at bay with an episode of the Archers.

'Oh great, these guys again! The big guy can't fit inside the MRI scanner, sheet boy falls right through it, and The Count's images never develop...'

"Wait! First, his attorney."

Vampire afternoon tea.

Vampire Couple, "I suppose you're out again for your usual eight pints?"

"Come on - let me guess again."

"I've been transferred to the Transylvanian section"

Fresh Blood In Politics

Death Takes A Time-Share

'This feels a bit strange: Are you really from the Blood Bank?'

'He won't bite anyone! I'm hoping it's just a phase.'

"The meal was delicious. My compliments to the Haematologist"

"Were the x-rays really necessary?"

"Looks like you're due for a cleaning and a sharpening."

"Now be honest, does it make me look younger?"

"As a vegan vampire I suck but I don't swallow."

Vampire Humor

"And how would you like your steak?" "Cremated."

'God's teeth - it's just not the same!'

'Her first telekinesis!'

"Our relationship would never work, Megan! We'd always be at each other's throat!"

"Is that your resting witch or resting bitch face. . .?"

'I just love this new ring tone.'

'Since I started drinking AB Positive blood, I feel a lot better about myself!'

What Vampires and Snowmen have in Common

Trilby - 'Souvenir'.